Stop to smell the roses

I always thought the saying, 'Stop to smell the roses' such a cliche. Seriously, who has time to take in the scenery when there is so much to do. If one were to pause for the moment, someone would get ahead, a missed opportunity would fly by, etc. All of these were my thoughts throughout highschool and college. Even watching the Olympics, it was that extra push that made the US swim team win the relay.

But today, I did pause for a moment and had an opportunity to reflect. Did it matter that by the a certain 21 I had a decent job that allowed me to travel, by 26 I was engaged, by 27 I owned a home, by 28 I was pregnant, etc. Did all of these matter if I didn't soak in the experience but just kept going from one milestone to another?

So where am I going with this babble? Well today, Jonathan as usual dropped Akemi off at daycare. On this day, Akemi started to cry for the 1st time as Jonathan started to leave. He left a frantic text message and as I spoke to him, I can hear the sadness and frustration in his voice that his baby girl was crying. 'She was looking straight into my eyes as she started crying', says Jonathan. Jonathan ended up walking away with probably an empty feeling that his baby girl was left at the heartless daycare.

But after a morning of feeling brokenhearted from the message he conveyed, I realized, today was the 1st time Jonathan experience the sadness of our baby girl. I keeping hearing him saying something like 'she was trying to tell me that she didn't like it there'. He texts me 'the face of her crying is all I can see.'

So what does this experience have to do with smelling the roses? Well, I could look at today's situation as how I did this morning: upset, frustrated, ready to go yell at the daycare. But after I took half day off and drove frantically to daycare to check up on Akemi and the situation. I found her sleeping so peacefully in the crib. It looked as though the daycare ladies, folded up her bear blanket and made it into a pillow to let her rest her head. She looked comfy and peaceful. It completely made me feel relieved. So I took in the moment and realize that Jonathan is going through the many experiences of fatherhood: always wanting the best for your child, sad to see tears, and determine to always make his baby girl happy.

Although the morning started off kinda frantic, crazy, and sad. It only made me smile and happy that I have such a great husband that is a caring father and a sweet little girl. So with the so-called heartless daycare, they're really not heartless. We at times are probably the usual 'overprotected, only want the best, and most of all 'very new' parents' that overthink too much into a situation. Nevertheless, I'm glad I followed my gutt to take half a day off to check in on her, to find her 'safe and sound asleep'.

I love motherhood. I love the sleepless night, the projectile vomit, the crazy colored poopey diaper, the funny faces Akemi makes, and all the love she gives me. This is the best experience and I'm going to stop and soak in all of it.