Our 1st restful night in months!

This past Sunday night, Akemi slept for 8 hours!!! We woke up at 5am and realized that we didn't wake up once through the night. Akemi slept from 9pm till 5am. We're starting to find that if we give her a warm bath before bedtime and then nurse her, she tends to sleep longer. Unfortunately we don't give her baths every day since I'm worried it'll dry out her skin.

The irony about Sunday night is that we were debating whether to go out to dinner with Jonathan's family since it was getting late. We ended up going to Korean BBQ and didn't come home till 10pm. Akemi cried all the way home but quickly quiet down once we found a Jazz station for her to listen to. We figured we would be up all night since
1. We were out late
2. She was crying all the way home
3. She had a very busy weekend and was up throughout the day

To our surprise, Akemi slept so peacefully.

Of course we knew it was a 'blessing' and last night was a normal night. (i.e. 3 hour feedings)

Nevertheless, we appreciated our first 8 hours of sleep.

Nursing in Public

Jonathan and I finally had the opportunity to go to the Carter's outlet in Citadel with Akemi. When we got there, I knew she would be hungry so I decided to nurse her in the car before we hit the stores. I'm glad we did that because as we walked around the outlet mall, I couldn't find a place where I would of nursed her. I was surprised to see that the children's stores didn't have dressing rooms. So where do mom's nurse their baby? My co-workers told me that they would nurse their baby in dressing rooms but any dressing rooms?

There were benches all over the outdoor outlet mall, but it was super windy today so I"m sure my little apron would of blown open. Maybe I shouldn't' be so bashful?

So to all the mothers out there:

Where do you nurse your baby in public? Any tips in general would be greatly appreciated!

I've been practicing using the little apron thing to cover myself and switching sides in feeding. Hopefully more practice would help!

Anyways, we were able to purchase some cute summer dresses for Akemi. She'll be able to wear them in July/Aug for our friends' wedding. =)

Guilt

People are already laying on the guilt that I'm going to work in a few months. It's hard enough as it is to know that time is ticking and I'll be back to the corporate society. Commentaries such as 'It's so sad. You won't see Akemi grow. She will change each day' or 'Won't you be sad that you're leaving her? You might miss her milestones'.

'sigh'. Yes it will be hard to leave her at daycare and at times, I do contemplate on whether to go back, but then reality sinks in. We have a mortgage to pay for and to be honest, my company is a great place to work. For the first time, I truly enjoy the people that's there, the overall environment, the benefits are great, and the employees love working there. Another reason for going back, if you haven't notice, is that my brain is becoming mush. I need to stop watching tv and start reading (e.g. my People magazine...just kidding... Business and Newsweek.) Another reason, it's kinda lonely being home. Akemi sleeps most of the day and I do go out by taking her on walks.

This week's agenda is 'Power walking' through the neighborhood. Yes, I'm finally going to be one of those crazy ladies in spandex, powering walking with a white poodle and a stroller. Tomorrow, Akemi and I are going to meet up with my old colleague at the Rose Bowl for a 3 mile walk. =D

So... those of you who ask, please don't. Cause no matter what excuses I say about why I'm going back to work, it'll be hard nevertheless.

How can I step away from this adorable face for 8 hours?

Random Akemi pictures

Akemi is checking out a picture of herself

Doesn't she look sooo happy to be in the Bath! =**(

Jonathan loves the Baby Bjorn !

Busy Weekend

Akemi has been a good girl all weekend. We drove to 29 Palms on Friday and she slept the entire way there. We had to stop once so that I could nurse and change her diaper. It was pretty hot at 29 Palms. There were a lot of families waiting for their love ones to come home. Akemi woke up just in time to meet her Uncle Lawrence! It was really cute to watch Lawrence hold her. Even on Saturday, when she was crying at Jonathan's dad's house, Lawrence was the 1st one to say "I'll go get her' and held her the entire time. =) I feel so fortunate that Akemi has so many people that loves her.
On Easter, Akemi was a very lucky girl. Jonathan's mom spent the entire day with her and even brought her an Easter basket. Akemi really likes the butterfly toy that she got. Everytime we play with it, she follows the sounds that the butterfly would make. I'm so glad that Jonathan's mom is so thoughtful. I don't think I would of found something cool like that for her. She even got another book from her too. Hopefully since Jonathan's mom works at the library, Akemi will get ahead start in reading. =)

Jonathan and I spent the day running errands. We didn't realize that Easter is a huge holiday and drove all the way down to Manhattan beach to pick up Dior's dog food. Unfortunately the vet was closed. We thought to make the most of it and went to Jonathan's favorite place for lunch, Back Home at Lahainas.

Baby cost

Daycare services vary so much! The lady we plan to go to cost about $810 a month. There are other places that cost up to $1400 a month. That's almost half of our mortgage. Isn't that crazy?

Here are my backup plans for the month that we have no daycare:

Plan A: Jonathan to work flexible hours from home and Olivia to come in part time for the month. She charges $8/hr so that's $64/day, $320/week, $1280/month . It's going to add up but at least she'll be coming to me. Hopefully she's available. I just saw her today and she said she'll have to check her calendar.

Plan B: Ask Jonathan's parents to watch Akemi for the month. They just recently hired a live-in help. I have some hestitations since this is their 3rd or 4th help that has rotated within the last month. The other hestiation is that she doesn't speak any English. I'm concern that if there is an emergency she wouldn't be able to call for help. The other concern is the conflict of interest. Since his parents are paying her, she may not neccessarily take my requests. Hopefully Plan A will work out.

In the meantime, I'm going to call around at different daycare.

Other news: Jonathan's brother, Lawrence, is finally coming home from Iraq on Friday. We were planning to drive up to 29 Palms to see him arrive from the buses. We're still debating on whether we'll drive up to see him since Akemi threw up again today. I'm taking her to the doctor's tomorrow to get her checked out. She's been throwing up off and on and it's starting to be more consistent. Thankfully she doesn't really notice that she's throwing up since afterwards she's happy.

Dreams

Lately I've been having very gory dreams of bloody zombies attacking the city with knives and I'm a crime fighting super woman in the main plot. Somehow, the zombies are always after me and I'm fending for my life. Last night, I was in the ghetto and I got shot in the drive by. I actually felt the bullet going through my chest. The guy that shot me came back to see if I'm dead and I laid there on the cement ground peeking up and pretended that I was dead. I can see my 'team' in the back, waiting for the guy to leave, and then came to get me. My team and I drove away to the location where we thought the head gangster lives.

At the location, the gangster's location looks like an old warehouse with barb wires fences. Secretly inside, he's manufacturing zombies and been making them crazy by having them eat each other for food. Suddenly, the zombies escapes and attack my team from behind and we're rushing to get inside our black cars. I'm standing on the roof the car as zombies are surrounding it with knives and then I wake up.

I've been having these weird dreams for weeks. Sometimes I get soo scared that I wake up shaken up. My worry is that I won't wake up one day. It'll be like one of those movies (e.g Black Crow??). I got superstitious and wrapped salt and put it under my bed. Apparently it's suppose to purify the room. I think I'm having these dreams because the foot of our bed face the fire exit door, which allows spirits to come in. Or these dreams occur because we found a huge stain in the carpet when we moved. It looked like a wine stain but then we found out that our previous collapse and to be rushed to the hospital. I keep wondering if that's the location where he collapse.

Anyways, Jonathan thinks I have these dreams because I worry too much. I don't get how I can have gory zombie dreams and that equals to worrying too much. I don't even watch scary movies so I have no idea where all the graphic imagery comes from.

Hopefully tonight I can have a 'normal' dream.

Daycare situation

'Sigh' I just found out from my daycare that they can't take Akemi in till June 30th. I have to find a nanny for an entire month since I'll be going back to work on June 3rd. I'm a little annoyed at the daycare lady since the date keeps extending. First she said maybe early June, now it's end of June. I held her to June 30th date. I may have to start looking at other daycare to see if they can take Akemi instead. So much for planning. I researched a year in advance and I'm still in a predicament. Guess you can't plan for everything.

I also thought the daycare will let me bring my frozen breastmilk but instead they want me to provide the bottles and have the breastmilk already in there. I think defrosted breastmilk can be good in the refrig for the day. I'll have to look that up to confirm.

Akemi was really good last night. She slept for four hours each time and I only had to nurse her twice. Friday night was pretty bad. We're not too sure if she was cranky because I took her out to visit Jonathan's mom at work or if she just wasn't recovered. She was throwing up once a day last week and I called the nurse but she just told me to see how things go. Thankfully she stopped throwing up since Saturday. But Friday, she threw up 3 times in the afternoon. This was the first time I was in near tears of a breakdown. I frantically called Jonathan like 4 times but he wasn't in. Akemi was screaming and throwing up and I was just covered in her vomit. On top of that she cried for 2 and 1/2 hours that night and wouldn't stop. I wasn't a happy camper that night. Hopefully tonight will be better.

Also, does anyone know why we can't give water to our baby? My mom and in-laws keep suggesting to give water to Akemi and I keep telling them that the doctor says that we shouldn't. I got so annoyed with my mom bugging me that I told her she can call the pediatrician and ask why. =D

Anyways, I'm off to 'attempt' to make dinner. Akemi is taking a nap and hopefully she'll sleep through it. =D

Night and Day [jonathan]

I think my daughter has a split personality. During the day--she sleeps like an angel. Coos like a darling. And behaves so well. Nothing can wake her up.

But once the sun goes down..its a completely different story. It's like Dr. Jekylland Mr. Hyde. Every little sounds wake her up. Her stomach turns into a bubbling churning stew which typically results in gooey spit up or ferocious bowel movements that threaten to tear a hole in her diapers. Her coos turn into angry wails that could wake the dead.

What has this done to us? Well..I can't speak for Karen. The obvious is she is suffering from sleep deprivation. But for me--it has turned my life into a plotline straight out of Nightmare on Elm Street. Being melodramatic you say? Well...all I know is that I have begun to fear the nights. I am now afraid to go to sleep because I know once my head hits that pillow and I attempt to drift off into blissful REM sleep, my little baby Jekyll is going begin her transformation.

It starts off with a little gurgle.

Then some light grunts. Then next thing you know....

WAAAAAAHH!!!! It's like air raid sirens going off in our home.

In all seriousness, recently nights have been really rough. For some reason, Akemi is really fussy between 2am and 4am. She will not go to sleep and she just cries and wails. Usually the time before and after that, she is a very light sleeper and either wakes herself up or wants to nurse every 2 hours. When it's really bad, it does feel like a nightmare that I need to wake up from. The sun is finally up now. I feel really drained.

Errands

Ok completing 3 errands on top of going to the doctor's appointment yesterday was not a good idea. I was so tired by 2am I couldn't keep my eyes open. I also noticed that I have 3 lumps in my left breast. It really hurt. I couldn't find any information online so I decided to put an ice pack on it and call it a night.

This morning, the lumps were still there. I'm trying to have Akemi nurse on the leftside and found that it helped a little bit. I was wiped out this morning and didn't full get dressed noon.
On top of that, Akemi threw up twice. She had her 3 immunization shot and the doctor told us she could get a fever. Thankfully she didn't, but ended up throwing up last night and this morning. She's knocked out sleeping right now. Poor girl.

Things between Jonathan and I are going well. We need to have a 'date' night since we haven't spent much time with each other. Every night, I always kiss him good night and tell him sweet dreams. Last night, I said 'Hey, where's my kiss?' and do you know what he says?

He said, 'My lips are chapped and it hurts.' How sad right? =D We definitely need to go out just the two of us.

Okidoki, I'm off to run to fix myself a snack.

Akemi is 10 lbs!!!

We just got back from Akemi's 6 week appointment and found out that she weighs 10 pounds! She gained 3 lbs since she was born. The doctor was suprised that she's gaining a good amount of weight and told us she's in the 75 percentile. I was happy to hear that she's gaining weight because I was concern that she spit up and threw up once in a while that she wasn't keeping the milk down.

Akemi had 3 shots today. She wasn't a happy camper getting them. We have to massage her thighs where she got her shots so they don't knot up. Hopefuly she won't get a fever from one of the shots. I'll have to keep a close eye on her to make sure she's ok.

Last Friday, Akemi and I went to visit my coworkers at the office. She was a good little girl and rarely cried. The visit really wiped both of us out. I found out the hard way that long visits causes her to be fussy at night. On Saturday night, we went over to Jonathan's aunt's house for a birthday gathering and we really paid for it that night. We're learning that it's really important for us to keep to a routine and have her asleep by 8pm-ish.

Today, Olivia is coming in to watch Akemi for 3 hours. My goal is to get the following things done in those 3 hours:

1. Go to Target
2. Get Akemi's Birth Certificate the the record office
3. Wash Dior -- he's awfully dusty. He's starting to look like Pigpen from the Peanut's gang. =D

Wish me luck!

Dior keeps peeing!

Argh! Dior keeps peeing on our 1st floor bathroom. We take him out at 4am, 6:30am, 1pm, 6pm, and again at 9pm. I just can't figure out when he goes. I really think he goes in there around noon when I'm making my lunch. It's so hard taking him outside with the baby cause when he wants to go the baby is either crying or asleep.

I readjusted the Bjorn again and just took him out for a long walk with Akemi. It's a good exercise but it's cumbersome to put Akemi in the Bjorn. At least it's easier to do that then putting her in the car seat and bringing the stroller down the flight of stairs.

To eat lunch alone took me over 2 hours!! I really need a nap today. I'm off to sleep.

Out for a stroll

I'm starting to get better at taking Akemi out with me. I started a few weeks ago with the Baby Bjorn and took Akemi and Dior out for a stroll. It was a real workout since the Akemi sits in front of me as I'm walking. I started to feel as though I was pregnant all over again. =D

This past weekend we had a few friends stop by for a visit. The Aoyamas came and we got to hang out Saturday afternoon.

On Sunday, Monica came over and we took Akemi to Coffee Bean. It was the first time I took Akemi out to a public places where there were people. It's funny how I kept avoiding the smokers or people that was coughing at all cost!

I was tired by the time we came home. It was only 6 blocks away, but I was huffing and puffing by the time we walked back. I didn't realize how out of shape I was. I need to take her out for more walks and that way I can get my exercise too!

Akemi is 1 month old

Akemi is officially 1 month old as of yesterday! Jonathan's mom came over during lunch and we celebrate by eating 'Yummy's' cupcake.

I can't believe 1 month has passed. It only seemed like the other day I was in the hospital. I'm holding on to every minute cause it's going by too fast for me. Jonathan wants to fast forward to the part where he takes Akemi to basketball practice. I'm like 'Noooo!! Every moment is too precious to fast forward!!! '. I don't want to tell him, he thinks changing diaper is bad, I don't want to deal with potty training!